You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
