you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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