hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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