Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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