Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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