Already got asked if we're dating
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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