so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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