Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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