I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
