please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
