So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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