just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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