do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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