dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
