Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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