Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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