Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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