Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
