I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
