do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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