Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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