I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
