is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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