this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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