i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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