Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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