Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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