the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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