i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
false alarm. still invincible.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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