if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
