Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
