He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
