All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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