just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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