I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
