Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
