Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
