There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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