this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
