and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
