The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
