Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
