Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
