That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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