Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
