Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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