Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
bring money and cleavage
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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