i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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