Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
And then he peed in my hair
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