oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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