so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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