he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
