I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
