remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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