I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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