The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
