i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize