I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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