Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
