saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
