Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
did i walk over a car last night?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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