If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
